EP 50: Your Dating Profile Is a Pitch – Belinda Love (The Bachelor) on Why Clarity Attracts
What if finding love was less about swiping and more about strategy?
In this episode of The Meaningful Marketing Podcast, Chantal Gerardy sits down with dating coach, author, and former Bachelor contestant Belinda Love to unpack how online dating is really just personal branding in disguise.
Whether you’re building a business or a Bumble profile, it all comes down to one thing: marketing yourself with authenticity.
🔑 In this episode, you’ll learn:
- Why filters and fake fronts are sabotaging your dating life
- How your online profile is your personal sales page
- Belinda’s “Nutella Theory” for handling rejection
- The 3 pillars to attract real love (hint: it starts with you)
- What marketing and dating really have in common
💖 Ready to Make Your Profile Pop?
✨ Grab a Free Dating Profile Audit
👉 Click here for your free audit
💼 Upgrade Your Love Life with Belinda’s Full Profile Package
👉 The 6 Steps to a Killer Online Dating Experience
📲 Connect with Belinda Love
- Instagram: @belindaloveoracle
- Facebook: Belinda Love Coach
- TikTok: @belindalove_coach
- YouTube: Belinda Love Coach
Download our FREE Guide here: https://onlinebusinessmarketing.com.au/free-downloads/
Listen here: http://themeaningfulmarketingpodcast.com/
Website: http://onlinebusinessmarketing.com.au/
Transcript:
This podcast is brought to you by Pod Pro Australia,
social media, Google, email, marketing systems, website traffic, and the endless content creation that comes with marketing. It’s overwhelming, right? Say goodbye to endless stress and hello to Clarity with the Meaningful Marketing podcast. In this podcast, I will share with you fast and free practical methods to help you manage, monetize, and market your business, all infused with a healthy dose of motivation.
Let’s do this. Hey, this is Chantal Gerardy from the Meaningful Marketing Podcast, and today we’ve got a really saucy show ahead. We’re going to be talking with Belinda Love from Be Loved, and we’re gonna be sharing about how you can sell yourself online, and that’s online dating, because in essence, that’s what you’re doing.
You’re selling yourself online. We’re gonna have a really interesting discussion today on the dos and don’ts so that you can get swiped right or swiped left, and we’ll tell you why getting swiped left is actually a good thing. Yes. So Belinda, thank you so much for joining us today.
Hi Chantal. Thank you for having me.
I’m so
excited that you’re here today. Please can you share with us a little bit of your story?
Oh my story. How far do I go back? Go. Go back to the saucy juicy bits. So to be vulnerable, my story starts quite toxically. I, my first boyfriend abandoned me like after two years, just disappeared. Couldn’t find him.
The second one, I walked in on him cheating on me with my best friend. The third one was domestically violent. And the last one was a gamer and never made me a priority, and I just thought what’s the common denominator? I’m not victim blaming, but I looked at myself and I thought I am. The person, that’s the common denominator, what’s going on?
So I stopped dating for a while and did some self re, reflection is the word, and discovered that I had some wounds that I needed to heal, and that my frequency was vibrating on a level that was attracting these toxic men. Into my life. And once I healed all of that and I learned a lot, I just shared my knowledge and people came to me and said, you’ve just changed my life.
What you’ve just shared has helped me find love. Do you do courses? Can you coach me? And so I became a qualified life coach, n LP practitioner, sound healer. I started counseling, created my own course. That was from my own experience. And yeah, I’m an mc speaker. I’ve written a book, breaking down the breakup.
That’s me. Oh,
that is so exciting. And you were also on The Bachelor, so tell us a little bit about that.
Yeah. I was on the Bachelor 2017 Maddie J season. I was in there for about a month, which is, they film for three months. And it like reality TV is an experience. I cannot compare it to anything on this planet.
It’s highs and lows, rollercoasters learning. And from that, I actually created my own show. Air your dirty laundry. I learned how to produce and direct a show, and that’s on YouTube, so it was beneficial, but I did actually struggle a lot after it. I had post-show depression, so you’re on this big high of paparazzi chasing you and being interviewed on the project and sunrise and then all of a sudden boom is nothing.
And so I learned and grew through that as well.
Yeah. That’s super exciting. So I thought it’d be great for us to talk about today ’cause this is the meaningful marketing podcast. How people, should set up their online profiles. Because at the end of the day, a lot of my guy friends, they say that when they go online dating and that they’ll see a picture of a woman on a dating thing.
And then when they actually go meet them in the flesh, the person looks nothing like the picture because they’ve put filters up and suddenly they’re just massively disappointment. There’s the. The first interaction they have is disappointment.
Yeah.
For me it’s around you really are selling yourself and it is really about your personal branding and how you position yourself online to these people, especially if you’re trying to find a soulmate or even if you’re just trying to find a fling, whatever that strategy is for you.
So let’s talk about that for a little bit. A little bit.
Yeah. It’s like when you see a photo of a beautiful restaurant meal. Then you go and you order that meal, and it’s not the same. It’s you have this expectation and then you’re setting yourself up for failure and the reason why and filters.
If you’re using filters, we need to stop it because you’re actually setting yourself up for failure. You need to embrace authentically who you are, everything about you, because you actually want to weed out the people that aren’t interested so that you can meet someone that who is going to love you in your track decks, in your glam dress, whatever it might be.
So putting your best foot forward is actually showing them who you are exactly as you are.
And when we talk about the best foot forward, yes, we are talking about your best authentic foot forward. For example, for me, I’m in my camper van. I’m always in my activewear. Yeah. I’m always doing cr*zy things.
I need to put those things forward because that’s how I spend my day and that’s what I do. And then it’s gonna, I’m gonna be able to attract somebody who can tolerate that pick. Will love that or appreciate that inside of me, yes. And rather than putting something forward where I’m like glam, wearing makeup, and it’s I don’t like wearing makeup and I don’t like, I’ll do it for today, but I don’t like to do, dress up and do that.
I do it for the right occasion, but this is not where I like to sit comfortably.
Yes. And I always recommend you do an array of images. Don’t just do selfies. Because selfie is not showing your lifestyle, your creativity, your personality, your persona. It’s just showing your face and whilst it is beautiful, you need to give them a sense of who you are, not just what you look like.
Because online dating, yes, whilst it’s very superficial. For those who are serious because there are serious people online. I met my partner online on Bumble and in fact, our first date which is a meet cute, and I can tell you about what that means if you like. I was in a jumper and jeans and we met for an hour because I want to see if there’s a vibe and a connection.
And we are f we are placing so much value on superficialness, what somebody looks like, how tall they are, all of these things when deep down what’s going to keep you together. Not how tall somebody is, but how they treat you. How they show up in the relationship. Yeah,
a hundred percent. So tell us about the Mecu.
Yes. So I, people put so much pressure on the first date. So they also put a lot of pressure on the online date. So when they first match somebody, they’re thinking, wow they’re going so far in the future and thinking this could be my husband. And they’re getting, putting those expectations and then they’re thinking, let’s have an amazing first date.
Let’s go for dinner and drinks, and he should be paying, and all of these things. And I’m talking as a feminine at the moment. But meet
cute is one hour. Date, it’s like literally a coffee or a conversation where you meet and you’re facing each other. Don’t go on a walk unless you have time looking into each other’s eyes.
’cause 100% of my walking dates that I did never went to a second date unless I had eye gazing time. So a mecu is one hour just to catch up and see if there’s a vibe, if there’s a connection. No pressure. Fun and exciting. Yeah. Nice.
Awesome. Okay, oh, consistent content online is what I always talk about.
So it’s the same thing. It’s consistent, authentic. Content that effectively communicates who you are and what you do in a business. And it’s exactly the same it sounds like for online dating. When you’re setting up your profile and you’re setting up your pictures and you’re putting in the words into the profile, it’s about effectively communicating to a stranger who you are.
And what your point of difference is really. Yeah. Because we always say marketing is about not what you do. That’s the same as everyone else. Marketing is what you do that’s different to everyone else.
Yeah.
So your best foot forward is really your point of difference. It’s really your shining light or your juice.
So I would imagine that you would need to know who you are. Yes. And really understand the type of person that you are and what you really want from life. Not what you think you want, but what you really want. Let’s talk about that for a sec.
Yeah. So being authentic within yourself. People don’t actually know their boundaries with regards to dating.
They just think, is he going or she going to choose me? But what it is you think, do I choose them? And I wanna make a point while I’m thinking about it. If you think of McDonald’s making an ad, they don’t just say they don’t. They say, I’m loving it. They don’t say, no hungry Jacks lovers here, please.
They say, I’m loving it. So when you are portraying yourself online, no negativity. If you are saying, I don’t want toxic people, I don’t want drama, I don’t want this, you are actually repelling people straight away. ’cause they’re seeing, oh, what’s this person been through? Why are they so negative already?
Yeah. So being positive and uplifting, but honest. Because if you want a relationship but you actually aren’t saying that in your profile, you’re going to attract so many people that you’re not weeding them out. Yeah. It’s going to be harder for you. So don’t be afraid. To say what you want. In a positive, uplifting way.
So I probably went off track there. No. It was perfect. Absolutely
perfect. And I always talk about qualifying and disqualifying the right people. Yes. That you, the whole point of your marketing is to qualify and disqualify the right and wrong people. That is what your marketing needs to do. And really the content inside your.
Online dating profiles needs to be exactly the same. It needs to qualify and disqualify that. And I must say when I go through, ’cause I’m online dating and when I go through people’s profiles and it is the negative, I don’t want this, I don’t want that. I do exactly what you said. I straightaway go, this is warning signs for me that this person’s been through crap.
Like I actually look for positivity. Yeah.
Yes. And we, I think we’ve all been through crap. It’s what, where are you at the moment? Have you healed that? Have you let go of the past? ’cause if you’re hanging onto the past hurts and you’re portraying that in your profile, it’s like a dog can sniff fear.
It’s, people can sniff that out. Sense that,
yeah. That’s so good. So tell us a little bit about the pillars that you have with the love trust cycle, because I know that this all relates to online dating and marketing yourself online so that you can find a partner.
Yes. Before my clients do any dating, we have three pillars.
And the first pillar is healing the hurt and conquering the heart. So we, when you start a training regime, the first thing you do is you empty the cupboards of all the temptations and the junk food. And that’s the same as your mindset. So negative mindset or hurt will actually show up and that’s will make you vibrate on that frequency.
So if you are vibrating on, I don’t wanna attract another toxic man or another cheater, that is what you’re focusing on. It’s like the red car, blue car theory. If you, what happens when you shop for a red car?
Red cars everywhere. Exactly.
And if you are focusing on the red flags, you are gonna find the red flags.
Yeah. So we first need to reframe our mindset and heal any wounds that are potentially open. And my book on the cover is A Heart with Gold filled in. It’s like the Kinsel Roy Theory, sorry, proverb, which is to mend broken with gold. ’cause the imperfections are beautiful. So we reframe that. Then the next phase is about self love.
Finding yourself. How do you, if you’ve been through so much pain, how do you stop being a people pleaser? How do you then authentically set your boundaries? Then we look at attachment styles so that you can understand. Are you an anxious and avoid or an avoidant, or both? I was both. And how do you navigate that so that you we’re setting you up for the right?
Dating and relationship tools. People expect you to know how to relate because we’re born into life and there’s no lessons, we just expected to know. Then my favorite one is how to handle rejection. So it’s chasing the no, because we think that. We, and we do deserve to be loved by everybody, but my Nutella theory is, do you wanna know my Nutella theory?
Ella, you Nutella theory. How many people do you think at a, on a percentage basis, love Nutella in the world? Oh my gosh, I dunno. 88%. Yeah, that’s a good number. That’s an angel number. We did the figures and if you take into account the people who don’t. Support palm oil industries, uhhuh. People who don’t eat nuts ’cause they’re allergic.
Yep. People who prefer Vegemite or a savory have savory tooth. Yeah. There’s 4.5% of people on this planet that love and buy Nutella. But if you go into the shops, there’s five shelves of it. But does Nutella change its flavor for everyone else? That doesn’t love it? No. Yeah, it stays on the shelf. It sells like hotcakes, and it’s perfect.
It doesn’t worry about the people. That’s not pleasing. Yeah, so what I say is you are Nutella, you’re delicious and sweet, loved by many, and not by all. And that’s perfectly okay. And when you become more comfortable with knowing that you’re not going to please everybody on this planet that you need to authentically please yourself.
That is when that person will come up, come into your life and show you what you’re looking for. Oh, that’s super good.
Super good. Yeah, because it is a massive rejection thing, yeah. But now you should really get excited every time. Like it’s a rejection and it’s a no. I go, that’s great.
That’s another wrong person. Yeah, another wrong person.
She, I’m closer
to the right person.
Yes. And it is a numbers game. You’re going to have
more nos
than yeses.
Yeah, a hundred percent. It’s exactly the same in the sales process. When you’re trying to get clients, how many clients do you have to, how many leads do you have to get and talk to and nurture, and out of that, how many are you actually gonna convert?
I think it’s something like one out of 20 or something,
you
know? So if you look at those numbers, it’s the same.
Yes. So my suggestion and recommendation is to be patient. And consistent and compassionate with yourself instead of having expectations that the next swipe is going to be your forever person.
Have fun with it. Yeah.
Yeah, I think it is. I think, you’ve gotta get excited about the fact that it is just an experience and you’re meeting nice new people. And if that’s all it is it’s great. I’ve actually met amazing men. Amazing men on, on the apps. Just not my men, but amazing men on the apps.
Yeah.
Which is great.
And I had a client recently. Go on a few dates. She was feeling very dejected. We did some work around that, and then the next date she went on, they’ve now been on six dates. They’re really enjoying each other. It’s going somewhere and it’s like we get stuck in this place of, it hasn’t happened yet.
It’s not gonna happen. But then you never know what the next swipe might bring. So staying optimistic about it as well.
Yeah. So can you give us some recommendations though, if people are gonna go set up their online profiles? Yes. Give me some do’s and don’ts.
I’ve actually got a book on this and I do dating audits for people as well, but my do’s and don’ts, so making sure that you have more than just a selfie and demonstrating your full length because people.
Don’t hide yourself. Be confident. Be proud of who you are, because the person that’s gonna swipe on you is auth, is swiping on you because they see what they like. Okay, so activity, shots, things of what you do in your life. A natural shot, a glam dress shot, what you know, friend shot as well. So give them a sort of a collage of your life.
It’s, yeah it’s so important to demonstrate in those images, but also descriptions. If you have just got emojis or you are, once again, I mentioned before, negative, what you don’t want, you’re going to waste your time and other people’s time because you, this is serious. If you are on there for love, you gotta treat it like that.
Yeah. It’s like when you go for a job interview, you don’t just. Send a resume with emojis. You actually explain I and talk about I’m looking for X, Y, Z, not you must be, or this is what you should be. Talk about yourself, talk about your dreams. Get, you can even be, what’s the word? Not fantasy, but like daydream and be positive and optimistic.
Then, I’m trying to think what other, there’s so many more, but I’m having a mind playing right now.
Yeah, no, that’s okay. I often see on the apps, there’s people writing, especially on men’s profiles, they’ll write, please, ladies, don’t create, please don’t create a profile using chat GBT. Oh, yeah.
So that’s a
massive thing at the moment.
Yeah. So what are your thoughts on that?
Yeah, I think. Definitely chat GPT, depending on how much it knows you, it can be quite robotic, but you can also get it to do add humor and things like that. I think you’re better off getting somebody like myself that actually knows the best way to attract.
It’s like when you are a business you and you’re not sure about marketing, you go to an agency or somebody who knows what to do for your business. I think it’s a fine line. It’s definitely a fine line because people can sense it and there’s a lot of people telling me that there have, there are fake accounts that are chatbots that are just generating, trying to fraught, essentially get you to pay for money for things for them.
So be careful with that. I think always be yourself authentically, and if you want to hire somebody to help you write it or get a friend, sit down and have fun with it.
Yeah. No, those are great things. And I know with ChatGPT always talk about putting the human intelligence into ChatGPT.
Yeah. And you’ve gotta do that on either side. So human intelligence first, then ChatGPT, then again, human intelligence. So what comes out the other side? Is human intelligence. You’ve just used, you’ve used it as a tool to assist you with something, but at the end it is, it’s something that you’re proud to put out that is authentically yours.
Yeah.
Yeah. Even if you write it and then ask it to tweak it a little bit. Yeah. So it sounds more articulate or I don’t know, add some funny bits in, but yeah, definitely from the heart is better than from the app.
Yeah. Awesome. Thank you so much for sharing. Just having a look, if there’s anything else, is there.
So meaningful marketing. All right, so one tip. If we are talking about if you are meaningfully marketing yourself on online dating profiles, what would your one big tip be for people
if you’re meaningfully marketing yourself? My one big tip would be patience. Know your audience because you want what you are sharing is what you’re bringing back.
Okay. Also. Oh and I think this might be, with marketing, you need to know your avatar so you can talk to their language. So knowing that, but also being compassionate with yourself, with marketing, you can put an ad out there and get, and it bombs. Yeah. But then you do something else and you tweak it, and it’s successful trial and error.
Don’t just do one profile. If you’re on multiple apps, trial, a different few different things. AB test it, trial, different photos as the cover one. But don’t give up. Don’t give up. Just because it hasn’t happened now doesn’t mean it’s not happening. Have fun with it. Trial and error, and make sure you’re speaking to your avatar.
So many good words there. And I think for me, I always talk about the business owner, always has to put the oxygen mask on their face first. Yes. And I think with this what you’re talking about now, it’s exactly the same theory. You’ve gotta take care of yourself, your mindset, and your wellbeing before you go onto those apps.
So making sure that you’re always in a good space.
Yeah. And knowing that the swipe lefts and the not matches is actually the universe. Seeing this person isn’t right for you and saving you time. I love that. Saving me
time. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Another one. Don’t have to waste my time on.
Yeah. Yeah.
Excellent. Get excited for it.
Yeah. No, it’s so good. Thank you so much. So where can people connect with you?
They can connect with me on multiple levels. I have my Instagram, which is Belinda Love Oracle. I have my website, belinda love.com au. I have TikTok and YouTube, wherever you wanna look. And your YouTube channel. Did you mention your YouTube?
It’s Belinda Love.
It’s Belinda Love YouTube. Yeah. And your website, belinda love.com au. Perfect. Yeah. Awesome. Thank you so much for joining us today. Thank you for having me, Michelle. This is the Meaningful Marketing Podcast. If you haven’t already, please make sure that you subscribe, comment, and give us a rating, and see you next week.
Thanks for listening in. Meaningful Marketing is all about you making your marketing meaningful. If you’ve enjoyed today’s episode, please hit that subscribe button, but subscribing means that you won’t miss out on future episodes, all about marketing and motivation. Stay inspired, stay focused, and make your marketing meaningful.